A little girl's dream
I
normally wouldn’t use this platform to discuss
something so personal but I really felt compelled to
do so.
I had to drop something off at my kid’s elementary school yesterday. As I was leaving I noticed a class project that was on display about Martin Luther King Jr. The wall was covered with construction paper portraits of Dr. King and underneath each portrait were the words “My dream is...” along with some lines for the children to fill in their own dreams. I stopped for a moment to read a few. Their dreams ranged from the grandiose ending of poverty, world hunger and global warming to the more personal of wanting to be a professional athlete or a policeman. I smiled at most and chuckled at others.
Then I read one that was quite sobering. A little girl wrote, “My dream is that my mommy and daddy will love each other and stay together.” “Wow,” I thought, “what caused her to write those words?”
We live in an age where personal happiness supersedes personal responsibility. Many people enter marriage with the attitude that if it doesn’t work out then divorce is always an option. But I wonder what would happen if we lived as though there was no option. What if we truly took the marriage commitment to heart? What if we agreed that the word divorce would never come from our lips in the midst of a conflict? Wouldn’t we try just that much harder to make it work?
I am not an expert on marriage. I’m just a guy who’s been married for fourteen years. I can attest to the fact that every (and I mean every) marriage falls on hard times, but I can also testify to how much better things can be and how much deeper your relationship can grow once you’re on the other side of those trials. When I got married I had no idea what I was in for. I didn’t have a clue how difficult things could get. I also had no idea how good things could be and that I could love anyone as much as I love Natalie now.
As important as it is to love each other for better or for worse it is prudent to ask questions before you take the walk down the aisle. As difficult and embarrassing as it may be to cancel a wedding it is far less devastating than divorce, especially where children are involved. When Natalie and I were engaged we went through a book called “Before you say I do” (Amazon link). While it certainly does not offer any guarantees it does help to determine how well matched you and your future spouse are and how you might handle difficult times and decisions.
By the way, it is a faith based book but don’t let that scare you. You need to find out where you and your future spouse each stand on those issues as well.
Ken
Share
I had to drop something off at my kid’s elementary school yesterday. As I was leaving I noticed a class project that was on display about Martin Luther King Jr. The wall was covered with construction paper portraits of Dr. King and underneath each portrait were the words “My dream is...” along with some lines for the children to fill in their own dreams. I stopped for a moment to read a few. Their dreams ranged from the grandiose ending of poverty, world hunger and global warming to the more personal of wanting to be a professional athlete or a policeman. I smiled at most and chuckled at others.
Then I read one that was quite sobering. A little girl wrote, “My dream is that my mommy and daddy will love each other and stay together.” “Wow,” I thought, “what caused her to write those words?”
We live in an age where personal happiness supersedes personal responsibility. Many people enter marriage with the attitude that if it doesn’t work out then divorce is always an option. But I wonder what would happen if we lived as though there was no option. What if we truly took the marriage commitment to heart? What if we agreed that the word divorce would never come from our lips in the midst of a conflict? Wouldn’t we try just that much harder to make it work?
I am not an expert on marriage. I’m just a guy who’s been married for fourteen years. I can attest to the fact that every (and I mean every) marriage falls on hard times, but I can also testify to how much better things can be and how much deeper your relationship can grow once you’re on the other side of those trials. When I got married I had no idea what I was in for. I didn’t have a clue how difficult things could get. I also had no idea how good things could be and that I could love anyone as much as I love Natalie now.
As important as it is to love each other for better or for worse it is prudent to ask questions before you take the walk down the aisle. As difficult and embarrassing as it may be to cancel a wedding it is far less devastating than divorce, especially where children are involved. When Natalie and I were engaged we went through a book called “Before you say I do” (Amazon link). While it certainly does not offer any guarantees it does help to determine how well matched you and your future spouse are and how you might handle difficult times and decisions.
By the way, it is a faith based book but don’t let that scare you. You need to find out where you and your future spouse each stand on those issues as well.
Ken
Share